You Know You're From LA When...

1. You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).

2. You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.

3. You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.

4. Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes".

5. You've inadvertently learned Spanish.

6. In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.

7. If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.

8. You've trespassed through private property to get to the "Hollywood" sign.

9. You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.

10. You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.

11. You think that Venice is a beach.

12. You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.

13. You've started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON'T WALK sign started flashing.

14. Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.

15. You have a favorite Thai restaurant.

16. You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.

17. When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic."

18. You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "310."

19. Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don't panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your car phone and tell them you're on TV.

20. You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.

21. Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your head.

22. Everyone you know has 3+ phone numbers. Home, office, mobile, pager, two-way, voicemail.....

23. It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tounge piercing.

24. You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep.

25. You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.

26. You go to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway and the whole trip cost you $50.

27. You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.

28. You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern LA.

29. Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic."

30. You call 911 and they put you on hold.

31. The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.

32. All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can’t drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping?

33. The hot seasonal party favor is a candied apple from Neiman's. The apples are called "Skinny Dippers."

34. The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.

35. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Los Angeles.

[These are only my favorite ones, visit You Know You're From LA When... for more jokes]